C. Hand asked:


Parents take note: We’re living in a time when being “different” actually pays off.

How to nurture individuality in the formative years.

By Robin Fisher Roffer 

Few jobs are more daunting than raising well-rounded, happy, confident kids. On one hand, you adore what makes your child unique: your daughter’s all-consuming love of science (she’s bordering on nerdy!) or your son’s quiet disposition and curious spirit. On the other, you worry that being too “different”-too shy, too short, too tomboyish (or, in the case of boys, too sensitive), too anything-is a sure path to unpopularity and isolation. What’s a conflicted parent to do? Urge your child to succeed within socially prescribed boundaries? Or let him or her break the (unspoken) rules and risk being labeled “weird”?

First, stop fretting. Your hand-wringing desire for your child to “fit in” is surely borne of love, but it’s also misguided for an age in which diversity is celebrated. Even if your child does face a few bumps in the road, learning to be herself (or himself) will pay off in the long run.

Kids who are confident in themselves, their background, and their unique way of thinking, looking, or acting are more likely to succeed, not in spite of their differences, but because of them. The benefits of being a bold individual just keep on unfolding as your kids reach adulthood-especially these days.

We are living in an era that celebrates uniqueness-not for its own sake but for the tangible benefits it yields throughout life. There has never been a better time to be yourself. Embracing and nurturing your inner “fearless fish” brings far richer rewards than conformity ever could.

Your unusual personality, outlook, appearance, or background-really, any attribute that sets you apart-is not a liability but an asset. Being different gets you noticed, whether it’s in the office, at school, or at home with your own family, and that is the first step to gaining influence with those around you.

When you refuse to hide or downplay your uniqueness, it makes you more authentic-and people gravitate toward those they like, trust, and believe in. Take Barack Obama, for example. His entire campaign celebrated his differences and used change as a cornerstone for his message. Today, he’s the President of the United States because voters saw that he was authentic and true to himself, and they were drawn to him.

Today’s kids are growing up in a time of exhilarating change, an era in which they face more opportunities (and yes, more challenges) than any group before them. Read on to learn how to help them navigate the road before them by being a fearless fish out of water (just like you!): 

Be a truly fearless leader. One of the most effective ways of teaching our kids is to lead by example. Our children look up to us and mimic the behaviors they see in their parents each day. If they see a person who is comfortable in her own skin, who dares to go against the flow, and most importantly, who is happy, they will learn to do the same for themselves. If this doesn’t describe you, well, it’s time to take a look in the mirror. 

Your children are watching you, and usually when you least expect it. If you are an authentic person and you live your own life as a fearless fish, your kids will see that and it will serve as a powerful lesson for the people they will become. Make sure to be who you are wherever you go-at work, at home, at your children’s school-and when they see the confidence you exhume and the respect you command, they will follow your lead. 

Help your kids to fit in the right way. It’s only natural for kids (of any age) to want to be like their peers-and that’s okay. The compromise to this scenario is to encourage your kids to associate with kids who are more like them. That way, they can feel accepted and part of a group while being themselves. Encourage your kids to join clubs or local groups that cater to their personalities and interests. 

If your son is a music whiz, sign him up for a local music class so he can make friends with other kids who share his talent and passion. Or encourage your daughter to join the science club or debate team at school, depending on her interests. Find a place where your kids can still fit in and feel like part of the group, while at the same time fostering their individuality and unique talents. 

Foster and encourage your child’s unique gifts. Nobody knows your child as well as you do, which puts you in the perfect position to identify those qualities that will make him stand out from the crowd and pave the way to a successful future. Take a cue from Tiger Woods’ father. When he noticed that his child was a budding golf prodigy, he saw the opportunity and ignored the odds stacked against a young, bi-racial golfer in a sport dominated by older white men. We all know how his story ended. 

Every parent has a child who is an individual, who is unlike anybody else on this planet. You have known this person from his first minute in the world, and you know what makes him special. At a young age, children aren’t in a position to leverage themselves in the real world like adults can-and this is where you are their biggest asset. If you know why your kid is unique, don’t just gush about it around the water cooler-get your child involved in ways that will benefit him now and well into the future. 

Teach him to use his differences to make a difference. Kids who learn to give back at an early age are that much more likely to do so well into their adult lives. Getting involved is a great life lesson, and a great way for you to spend time together as a family. Let your child pick a cause that he cares about, and then help him to use his differences to make a difference in the lives of others. 

If your child is a star athlete, teach him to use his sports star status to raise money for a charity. You can ask the team’s sponsor to help, or have fans donate $1 per goal to be donated to a good cause. Or does your daughter have a way with animals that reminds you of the dog whisperer? Sign up to be volunteers at the local animal shelter. Working together on a common cause can have only positive results. You get to spend time as a family and you get to help out the community-all while teaching your future fearless fish an important life skill! 

Let her change her mind. Nobody wants to raise a quitter, and sometimes that can mean we force our kids to stick with activities and hobbies that may not be right for who they are growing up to be. If Sally LOVED horseback riding last month, but this week she will absolutely die if she doesn’t get to join the local 4-H, it can be enough to make your head spin, and your wallet shrink. While it’s not okay to let kids have free reign over your schedule (or your budget!), it’s important to pay attention to their changing interests and to encourage them to pursue different things until they find what suits them. 

While the outlet for your child’s passion may change, the root of who she is stays the same. Clearly, Sally has a passion for nature, and through different experiences she will learn to use that passion to stay relevant and current. As a fearless fish, you have to keep reinventing yourself, changing with the times and with the places you work and live, while holding on to the essential you. If your kids want to pursue something, let them try for a year. Once the season is over, if they want to move on, it’s okay to let them. Forcing kids to stay involved in something they don’t care about will only smother the fire in them that you’re trying to stoke. 

Know when to let go. It’s inevitable: You can’t protect your kids from everything, and sooner or later (and it’s probably sooner!) they are going to be faced with a challenge that will rock their world. Maybe a bully at school has made Susie her new target, or Timmy didn’t make the basketball team and all his friends did. For kids, upsets like these are devastating. But they are also perfect opportunities for them to learn how to overcome obstacles by practicing the ABCs for fish out of water-action, belief, and courage. 

Don’t try to swoop in and make it all better. That may be the worst thing you can do. Instead, help your child equip himself with the means to solve his own problems. If Timmy didn’t make the team, but you know he’s a talented artist, encourage him to get more involved in the school’s art program or sign him up for advanced art classes at the local community college. Or help Susie boost her self-esteem and confidence by enrolling her in a karate class or debate team; her bully will move on when she learns that her victim can stand up for herself. 

There’s a great bonus that comes with striving to raise fearless kids: In the process, you perfect and refine your own journey toward fearlessness.

Parenting is as much about your growth and evolution as it is your child’s. As we teach, we learn. And there’s no richer or more rewarding path than learning how to cast aside our fear and be true to ourselves. Living an authentic life successfully is fulfilling beyond words-and an opportunity that no child should go without.

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About the Author: 

Robin Fisher Roffer (Los Angeles and New York) is CEO of Big Fish Marketing, one of the entertainment industry’s preeminent brand marketing and digital advertising agencies.  She has provided the rocket fuel that has ignited the launch pad of dozens of brands all over the world, developing brand-building marketing plans and promotional campaigns for top media companies like Sony, Time-Warner, and Twentieth Century Fox. 

Roffer has written strategic plans and executed marketing tactics for a prestigious client list that includes ABC, A&E, AMC, Bloomberg, Bravo, CNN, Comedy Central, Discovery Channel, Disney Channel, History, Lifetime, MTV, Oxygen, and Turner Networks. Today, her client roster includes over 25 television networks, a global cosmetics company, and several insurance and investment firms. 

A dynamic and engaging speaker, Roffer has given keynote presentations to some of the nation’s biggest companies and organizations, including AOL, Mattel, Verizon, Wharton School of Business, and many more. In addition to her work with Big Fish Marketing, she serves as a strategic branding consultant for a variety of corporations.  

Drawing on her experience in creating some of the world’s leading entertainment

brands, Roffer penned her first book, MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF: Eight

Steps Every Woman Needs to Create a Personal Brand Strategy for Success.

 

Her latest book, THE FEARLESS FISH OUT OF WATER: How to Succeed

When You’re the Only One Like You, hit stores in February 2009. It shows professionals how to stay connected and relevant at work while maintaining a unique identity, how to fit in without blending in, and how to transform exclusion into high impact. 

 

Roffer’s core belief is that entertainment should be leveraged for a greater good. She has received accolades for developing community outreach programs like Lifetime’s “Women Rock,” a concert event designed to raise awareness for ****** cancer issues; CNN’s “Your Choice Your Voice” high school-based election promotion; FSN’s “Reading All-Stars” literacy campaign; The History Channel’s “Save Our History” initiative, which raised money and awareness for the World War II Memorial; and Comedy Central’s “Comedy RX,” a hospital-based program promoting the healing powers of laughter. 

  

About the Book:  

The Fearless Fish Out of Water: How to Succeed When You’re the Only One Like You (Wiley, 2009, ISBN: 978-0-4703166-8-9, $24.95) is available at bookstores nationwide, major online booksellers, or direct from the publisher by calling 800-225-5945. In Canada, call 800-567-4797. 

For more information, please visit www.robinfisherroffer.com and www.fearlessfishoutofwater.com.

 

Abhishek Agarwal asked:


With the rule of society changing to make way for smaller families that live away from their own families and friend’s groups or known communities like those existing in small-towns or rural settings that often have family elders or older siblings looking after the younger lot, there is a need for good childcare facilities that daycare centers springing up everywhere hope to provide. Not only do working moms and dads benefit from sending their kids to quality daycare, but even those recuperating from an illness or those attending to medical emergencies in the family also find a way to meet child-rearing challenges in a child-safe environment that the daycares of today provide.

1. Thus, with baby boomers showing the way for independent thinking and living even post-retirement and having been the kids that go out there and ‘just do it’ – there is loads of encouragement for kids to become independent of parental support at an early age; there are fewer stay at home moms and many single parents that make it necessary for more children now than ever before to be placed in daycare so they are not latch-key kids, like the ’80’s had. With so many instances of sex-offenders on the prowl for innocent kids, staying home alone is not a viable option and daycares provide qualified, trained staff focused on keeping children safe, happy and out of danger while learning new skills and activities besides seeing to their timely meals and rest, so are a good bet for many parents.

2. For those parents that cannot afford or find a suitable in-house babysitter or caregiver, daycare provides the best alternative for placing their child in safe, capable hands and a kids-friendly community where they learn to get along with other kids. Daycare options are a-plenty with variable fee-costs that make it an affordable and convenient option, not to mention safe and comfortable kids-friendly environment to learn and socialize in, for many parents; from full-daycare to part-time services to even week-end options, there are all kinds of daycares abounding! For pre-schoolers, there’s the option of after-school only daycare (3-5 hours) and for babies or toddlers, many a time one parent or the other may juggle work-load and shifts to be around so it may only be part-time daycare required, which makes it possible for parents to always follow every important milestone in the child’s life.

3. Instead of just watching TV or eating junk-food or perhaps putting themselves in danger when left alone without adult supervision at home, children are better off at daycares that provide a host of all-round child development facilities apart from full-time trained staff attending to children’s needs, right from healthcare to playtime and medical emergencies. You can choose to volunteer a few hours a week to make the transition from a home environment to a community one easier on your child or pay surprise visits to spend extra quality time with your precious one; this will allow you to know the real functioning of the daycare center and allow you to bond with your child.

Abhishek Agarwal asked:


The hunt for the basic childcare guidelines should start as soon as you get to know your due date. The reason behind this is that the early start provides us with ample time to go through all the available childcare options. Before settling with a particular childcare provider, many things have to be considered. In case you are planning to opt for an in-home caretaker, then you must be sure about the caregiver’s professional at least for the last five years. For this, you can take references from the past employers of the caretaker. This is important because it is not mandatory for caretakers to have a license. You need to ask for phone numbers and names. You should also not hesitate to talk to people who know the caretaker and have employed them before. You need to be very cautious while choosing the in-house caregiver as they are quite expensive and will also have to stay with your child even when you might be out. Thus, do not go for a caregiver who is not able to provide enough information about his/her past records.

The next option that is available is family childcare. These types of environment are more casual and are less expensive and also have only a limited number of children enrolled in it. This kind of childcare makes it mandatory for you drop and pick up your kid from a certain person’s place. In many cases, you will be charged more if you are going to pick your child later than usual. Remember that these caregivers are doing it as a nine-to-five business. However, it is important that you see to it that they are licensed as how they do their work differs from every individual caretaker. Thus, the references from other similar parents are of prime importance.

The next alternative is to leave your kid at a day care centre which has been licensed. But, the point to be noted here is that your child will receive less individual attention in here. Another negative impact of this is that your child may develop illness that might be caused due to interaction between so many children. However, the benefits of such types of day care centers are many. They do not have very strict rules about the timings and your child will be able to interact with more number of children and learn more in the process.

The best time to visit all prospective childcare centers is before you have your kid. You can make checklists and notes for future reference before you select the perfect place for your tiny tot. You can also make use of the many websites providing such information for this purpose. In case you plan to get back to your work after the maternity leave period, having a number of providers waiting will make your back to work schedule less stressful. The best thing to do in such cases is to opt for an on-call day care provider who can drop in to take care of your kid even during emergencies when you need someone to take care of your kid urgently. This would surely help you to get adjusted and get back to your schedule.

Mark Crockrum asked:


Parenting a child is not such an easy task as it seems. It involves such a huge category of work and care that it cannot be placed in strict regimen. From morning till night the mother is always busy taking care of some or the other necessary activity that baby care initiates. Proper baby care is necessary for the right upbringing of the child and this process involves a huge number of activities.

Feeding:

Food is the most important part of human existence as it is the fuel that makes the human body survive and work as per requirements. Therefore proper food is very important, particularly for the new born baby. ****** feeding is considered to be the best source for nutrient supply to the body of the new born child. The ****** milk contains colostrums which plays a vital role in building up the immune system of the child. This will eventually help in making the child healthy.

However, the mothers should avoid food that causes them health problems like cold or gas throughout the period of ****** feeding as these problems might get carried down to the kids and they can face problems of congestion or breathing disorders.

Bottle-feeding is another way of feeding the child. The bottle feeding period starts after the ****** feeding stage ends. Since this process involves the use of bottles for the purpose of feeding, you must make sure that the bottles are thoroughly cleaned and sterilized. Boiling in water for around 25 minutes also helps in killing the unwanted organisms that might cause severe harm to the new born. All these necessary things should be taken and cleanliness should be inculcated in the kids so that they do not eat any object lying anywhere.

Sleeping care:

Sleep is very important for the child. Maximum growth of the body takes place during sleep. Sleep should be comfortable and you should ensure that the baby gets perfect comfort with regards to the lying surface (mattress), blanket covers and covering for protection from mosquitoes and flies. These things should be taken care of properly as the baby would not say anything even if he feels uncomfortable. You should see to it that the baby is not covered with unnecessary clothing as this might lead to heating and temperature rise, thereby making the kid feel uncomfortable. The baby should always be made to lie on a good and firm mattress. This would prove beneficial for the spine of the child.

Clothing:

Proper clothing for the kids is of utmost importance. During the summer months the babies should be given light cotton clothes, whereas in the winter season, adequate woolen clothing should be provided so that the child doesn’t catch cold. Changing diapers at regular intervals is also very important. For the perfect comfort of the child you should see to it that the child doesn’t feel wet any time. You should remove the smelly and wet diapers immediately as wet diapers can lead to infection in that area.

Bathing requirements:

Maintaining cleanliness is very important for the child. The child should have proper bathing and mouth washing sessions. For mouth washing of the baby cotton should be used. The baby enjoys bathing in a tub and therefore you should have an adequate tub that suits the baby’s requirements for this purpose. Soaps and shampoos specially made for the purpose of child care should be used to bathe the baby. Mild and moisturizing soaps should be used for baby baths. You should avoid scrubbing the body of the baby with a wash cloth. Even the shampoos for the babies are specially made and are less irritating for their eyes. These shampoos can also be easily rinsed. After the bathing session the baby cream, oil and powder also needs to be applied on the skin of the baby. These products are also specially made for child care.

Vaccinations and medical treatments:

Babies are more prone to diseases and therefore proper measures should be taken to avoid any condition that might promote these diseases or ailments. The baby should be given injections for immunization against diseases like small pox, measles, polio and rubella.

Following these tips and going through several other tips in our online books can help you in taking proper care for your kids and initiate better living conditions for them.

Abhishek Agarwal asked:


It is very important for the child to play with the toys, and this would possibly be one of the best pastimes for most of the kids who are in the daycare. It gives them immense pleasure in playing with their favorite toys. Apart from this, the kids also like playing with colors, and clays. There are several ways to prevent any kind of hazards like preventing the kid from putting anything dangerous into its mouth, and this is being discussed here.

To make your day care centre the ideal one, you need to have all the necessary equipments. This list includes high chairs, cribs, strollers, booster seats, toys and car seats. The decision regarding what kind of toys are to be bought is a tough one. This is because the needs of children vary according to the tastes and age of the children. The same type of toy may not satisfy all the kids.

Children till about six months old need toys which do not frustrate them. This is because they are not very mobile and thus need toys which allow them to interact in a better manner. For such kids, fluffy soft toys which they can put in their mouth are the best option. It would be better if such toys make noise when they are pressed. However, such items should not have loose parts, sharp edges and too much of hair in them. Colorful blankets with interesting patterns and colorful pictures are good ways to capture their interest of the children. Bouncy seats will enhance better interaction and make the child learn to make use of his hands to reach out for things.

For kids who are between the ages of six months and one year, objects which help them to explore objects are suggested. This is the right age to introduce bathtub, telephones, plastic keys, rattles, and all other objects without any choking hazard which the child can hold on to easily. Soft balls are also a great option as the effect of seeing the ball move once they throw it astonishes the child.

For the child between the ages of one to two years, all objects which provide a good base for them to interact are suggested. Toys with sharp edges and loose parts must still be avoided. All things which make noise such as xylophones, plastic pianos, spoons and bowls are considered good options. Building blocks are also a great idea as they help the child to construct shapes and break them down. Lots of picture books, colorful pictures and illustrations and board books are also nice and interesting options.

For children between two to four years of age, toys that explore them to experiment with their creativity are to be encouraged. This is the age when the little kids begin to play with their own imaginations and learn the art of playing with other kids. Toy vehicles, large action figures, doll sized infant gears and dolls, play food and kitchens, ride-on toys, building blocks, balls, playground equipment and all other objects which provide an outlet to bring out their energy are great options. You can also stock up large amounts of finger paints, water colors, washable markers and other coloring materials, coloring books and paper. This is an amazing way to keep the kids occupied even on any given day.

Scott White asked:


These days, in an urge to go ahead in their careers, people are opting to become single parents without getting tied in a nuptial knot. Thinking about being a single parent might appear appealing but it is not so easy, unless you know how to tackle issues related with childcare. So, here we are at your aid with some useful childcare tips for single parents, who wish to raise a child.

* Au Pairs: Working single parents might not have much time for giving attention to the child, so one option is to hire an Au Pair. However, while selecting an Au Pair, check out the credentials and other information about the person you are hiring.

* Make A List: Take some time out in a day or a week to make a To Do list of things to do for your child’s care. While dealing with your dependent, also don’t neglect your daily routine, including your work deadlines. Stay on track, make a list of things to do and prioritize your list on a regular basis.

* Place Everything In Order: Try to keep everything in order be it the books, record player, bike, shoes, knifes or keys. This is important to keep your child safe, else these things may prove hazardous to the child.

* Wake Up Early: In order to keep your life well balanced, single parents should try to wake at least 15 or 30 minutes earlier so as to take care of the child without getting late for work.

* Shopping Center Creches: While shopping in malls, shingle parents can sometimes seek the childcare center there that is run by the mall staff for children of all ages or one nearby. These centers have toys and things to keep the child busy while parents can shop easily.

* Support Groups: Single parents can also get adequate help from their community support groups to take care of their child. Often communities have centers that charge a fee for taking care of your child while you go for work. Moreover, some people who like kids also often volunteer themselves free of cost to take care of kids.

Other Tips

Single parents often have larger responsibility for their child than married parents, and they should keep these tips in mind for childcare. They should also place emphasis on considering some elements associated with childcare as they would find it difficult to cope up if any unexpected problem crops up. Given below are set of tips that can help them in properly exercising their responsibility.

* Childcare centers chosen for the child should be properly licensed and registered.

* Check whether a daycare center has a proper child and caregiver ratio or not.

* Also, check the background details of the childcare staff that will be taking care of your child.

* Proper sanitation and maintenance should be present where you are going to send your child.

* Make sure that the childcare program or center follows safety and health standards.

* Seek help from trusted family members and friends to take care of the child in your absence.

Kris Starliper asked:


Day care furniture is used at day care centers. Since they are for kids there are a lot of safety features that you need to pay heed on before selecting them. Kids always playing around carelessly and there are chances that they may fall over the furniture or may topple over them. Hence utmost care for selecting the safest and weight less furniture having no sharp edges is required. The day care furniture need to be selected by the size of kids so that they can comfortably reach them and use it without risk of injury.

There are a lot of designs and styles available in the market under various categories such as tables, chairs, cribs, diaper changing stations, book stands, storage units, step stools, lockers, cubbies, portable sinks etc. While selecting the color scheme for such furniture the most pertinent choice of colors would be bright colors such as red, yellow and blue. Bright colors are very attractive to children and they love them. Various day care furniture pieces are explained as follows:

• Tables: Day care tables are usually very low and contain no sharp edges. Tables are a piece of furniture where kids would spend most of their time either eating or doing creative works like drawing, painting, writing etc.

• Chairs: Chairs are a place of resting for the little ones. Hence the chairs need to be comfortable and easy for them to sit upon as well as stand from it.

• Cribs: The infants and toddler can be laid for sleeping in cribs. While selecting cribs make sure that the upholstery as well as the beds is soft and comfortable for them.

• Diaper changing stations: The Diaper changing stations is another important piece of furniture in a day care centre and is used to change diapers. The diaper changing stations need to be kept clean and tidy so as to avoid transmitting diseases.

• Book Stands: The book stands are used to stuff books for the little ones to use. Book stands are similar to a small library containing books.

• Storage Units: The little ones need storage units for storing their belongings. This space can be provided through the Storage units that can be made to at their size.

• Step stools: The little ones would love to use step stools to explore and climb on to reach new heights. While selecting step stools for the little ones make sure that it has got a strong base.

• Lockers: Lockers are place where the kids can keep their personal items. The lockers would have key to make it safer and secure.

• Cubbies: Cubbies are storage area for kids. The cubbies can be used to store the kid’s toys and tools.

• Portable Sinks: The portable sinks are very beneficial in keeping hygiene in the day care centre. Portable sinks can be easily placed and used for washing hands.