The Art Of Parenting Non-Conforming Kids: Six Ways To Teach Your Kids To Live Fearless, Authentic, And Wildly Successful Lives
December 18, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
C. Hand asked:
Parents take note: We’re living in a time when being “different” actually pays off.
How to nurture individuality in the formative years.
By Robin Fisher Roffer
Few jobs are more daunting than raising well-rounded, happy, confident kids. On one hand, you adore what makes your child unique: your daughter’s all-consuming love of science (she’s bordering on nerdy!) or your son’s quiet disposition and curious spirit. On the other, you worry that being too “different”-too shy, too short, too tomboyish (or, in the case of boys, too sensitive), too anything-is a sure path to unpopularity and isolation. What’s a conflicted parent to do? Urge your child to succeed within socially prescribed boundaries? Or let him or her break the (unspoken) rules and risk being labeled “weird”?
First, stop fretting. Your hand-wringing desire for your child to “fit in” is surely borne of love, but it’s also misguided for an age in which diversity is celebrated. Even if your child does face a few bumps in the road, learning to be herself (or himself) will pay off in the long run.
Kids who are confident in themselves, their background, and their unique way of thinking, looking, or acting are more likely to succeed, not in spite of their differences, but because of them. The benefits of being a bold individual just keep on unfolding as your kids reach adulthood-especially these days.
We are living in an era that celebrates uniqueness-not for its own sake but for the tangible benefits it yields throughout life. There has never been a better time to be yourself. Embracing and nurturing your inner “fearless fish” brings far richer rewards than conformity ever could.
Your unusual personality, outlook, appearance, or background-really, any attribute that sets you apart-is not a liability but an asset. Being different gets you noticed, whether it’s in the office, at school, or at home with your own family, and that is the first step to gaining influence with those around you.
When you refuse to hide or downplay your uniqueness, it makes you more authentic-and people gravitate toward those they like, trust, and believe in. Take Barack Obama, for example. His entire campaign celebrated his differences and used change as a cornerstone for his message. Today, he’s the President of the United States because voters saw that he was authentic and true to himself, and they were drawn to him.
Today’s kids are growing up in a time of exhilarating change, an era in which they face more opportunities (and yes, more challenges) than any group before them. Read on to learn how to help them navigate the road before them by being a fearless fish out of water (just like you!):
Be a truly fearless leader. One of the most effective ways of teaching our kids is to lead by example. Our children look up to us and mimic the behaviors they see in their parents each day. If they see a person who is comfortable in her own skin, who dares to go against the flow, and most importantly, who is happy, they will learn to do the same for themselves. If this doesn’t describe you, well, it’s time to take a look in the mirror.
Your children are watching you, and usually when you least expect it. If you are an authentic person and you live your own life as a fearless fish, your kids will see that and it will serve as a powerful lesson for the people they will become. Make sure to be who you are wherever you go-at work, at home, at your children’s school-and when they see the confidence you exhume and the respect you command, they will follow your lead.
Help your kids to fit in the right way. It’s only natural for kids (of any age) to want to be like their peers-and that’s okay. The compromise to this scenario is to encourage your kids to associate with kids who are more like them. That way, they can feel accepted and part of a group while being themselves. Encourage your kids to join clubs or local groups that cater to their personalities and interests.
If your son is a music whiz, sign him up for a local music class so he can make friends with other kids who share his talent and passion. Or encourage your daughter to join the science club or debate team at school, depending on her interests. Find a place where your kids can still fit in and feel like part of the group, while at the same time fostering their individuality and unique talents.
Foster and encourage your child’s unique gifts. Nobody knows your child as well as you do, which puts you in the perfect position to identify those qualities that will make him stand out from the crowd and pave the way to a successful future. Take a cue from Tiger Woods’ father. When he noticed that his child was a budding golf prodigy, he saw the opportunity and ignored the odds stacked against a young, bi-racial golfer in a sport dominated by older white men. We all know how his story ended.
Every parent has a child who is an individual, who is unlike anybody else on this planet. You have known this person from his first minute in the world, and you know what makes him special. At a young age, children aren’t in a position to leverage themselves in the real world like adults can-and this is where you are their biggest asset. If you know why your kid is unique, don’t just gush about it around the water cooler-get your child involved in ways that will benefit him now and well into the future.
Teach him to use his differences to make a difference. Kids who learn to give back at an early age are that much more likely to do so well into their adult lives. Getting involved is a great life lesson, and a great way for you to spend time together as a family. Let your child pick a cause that he cares about, and then help him to use his differences to make a difference in the lives of others.
If your child is a star athlete, teach him to use his sports star status to raise money for a charity. You can ask the team’s sponsor to help, or have fans donate $1 per goal to be donated to a good cause. Or does your daughter have a way with animals that reminds you of the dog whisperer? Sign up to be volunteers at the local animal shelter. Working together on a common cause can have only positive results. You get to spend time as a family and you get to help out the community-all while teaching your future fearless fish an important life skill!
Let her change her mind. Nobody wants to raise a quitter, and sometimes that can mean we force our kids to stick with activities and hobbies that may not be right for who they are growing up to be. If Sally LOVED horseback riding last month, but this week she will absolutely die if she doesn’t get to join the local 4-H, it can be enough to make your head spin, and your wallet shrink. While it’s not okay to let kids have free reign over your schedule (or your budget!), it’s important to pay attention to their changing interests and to encourage them to pursue different things until they find what suits them.
While the outlet for your child’s passion may change, the root of who she is stays the same. Clearly, Sally has a passion for nature, and through different experiences she will learn to use that passion to stay relevant and current. As a fearless fish, you have to keep reinventing yourself, changing with the times and with the places you work and live, while holding on to the essential you. If your kids want to pursue something, let them try for a year. Once the season is over, if they want to move on, it’s okay to let them. Forcing kids to stay involved in something they don’t care about will only smother the fire in them that you’re trying to stoke.
Know when to let go. It’s inevitable: You can’t protect your kids from everything, and sooner or later (and it’s probably sooner!) they are going to be faced with a challenge that will rock their world. Maybe a bully at school has made Susie her new target, or Timmy didn’t make the basketball team and all his friends did. For kids, upsets like these are devastating. But they are also perfect opportunities for them to learn how to overcome obstacles by practicing the ABCs for fish out of water-action, belief, and courage.
Don’t try to swoop in and make it all better. That may be the worst thing you can do. Instead, help your child equip himself with the means to solve his own problems. If Timmy didn’t make the team, but you know he’s a talented artist, encourage him to get more involved in the school’s art program or sign him up for advanced art classes at the local community college. Or help Susie boost her self-esteem and confidence by enrolling her in a karate class or debate team; her bully will move on when she learns that her victim can stand up for herself.
There’s a great bonus that comes with striving to raise fearless kids: In the process, you perfect and refine your own journey toward fearlessness.
Parenting is as much about your growth and evolution as it is your child’s. As we teach, we learn. And there’s no richer or more rewarding path than learning how to cast aside our fear and be true to ourselves. Living an authentic life successfully is fulfilling beyond words-and an opportunity that no child should go without.
# # #
About the Author:
Robin Fisher Roffer (Los Angeles and New York) is CEO of Big Fish Marketing, one of the entertainment industry’s preeminent brand marketing and digital advertising agencies. She has provided the rocket fuel that has ignited the launch pad of dozens of brands all over the world, developing brand-building marketing plans and promotional campaigns for top media companies like Sony, Time-Warner, and Twentieth Century Fox.
Roffer has written strategic plans and executed marketing tactics for a prestigious client list that includes ABC, A&E, AMC, Bloomberg, Bravo, CNN, Comedy Central, Discovery Channel, Disney Channel, History, Lifetime, MTV, Oxygen, and Turner Networks. Today, her client roster includes over 25 television networks, a global cosmetics company, and several insurance and investment firms.
A dynamic and engaging speaker, Roffer has given keynote presentations to some of the nation’s biggest companies and organizations, including AOL, Mattel, Verizon, Wharton School of Business, and many more. In addition to her work with Big Fish Marketing, she serves as a strategic branding consultant for a variety of corporations.
Drawing on her experience in creating some of the world’s leading entertainment
brands, Roffer penned her first book, MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF: Eight
Steps Every Woman Needs to Create a Personal Brand Strategy for Success.
Her latest book, THE FEARLESS FISH OUT OF WATER: How to Succeed
When You’re the Only One Like You, hit stores in February 2009. It shows professionals how to stay connected and relevant at work while maintaining a unique identity, how to fit in without blending in, and how to transform exclusion into high impact.
Roffer’s core belief is that entertainment should be leveraged for a greater good. She has received accolades for developing community outreach programs like Lifetime’s “Women Rock,” a concert event designed to raise awareness for ****** cancer issues; CNN’s “Your Choice Your Voice” high school-based election promotion; FSN’s “Reading All-Stars” literacy campaign; The History Channel’s “Save Our History” initiative, which raised money and awareness for the World War II Memorial; and Comedy Central’s “Comedy RX,” a hospital-based program promoting the healing powers of laughter.
About the Book:
The Fearless Fish Out of Water: How to Succeed When You’re the Only One Like You (Wiley, 2009, ISBN: 978-0-4703166-8-9, $24.95) is available at bookstores nationwide, major online booksellers, or direct from the publisher by calling 800-225-5945. In Canada, call 800-567-4797.
For more information, please visit www.robinfisherroffer.com and www.fearlessfishoutofwater.com.
Parents take note: We’re living in a time when being “different” actually pays off.
How to nurture individuality in the formative years.
By Robin Fisher Roffer
Few jobs are more daunting than raising well-rounded, happy, confident kids. On one hand, you adore what makes your child unique: your daughter’s all-consuming love of science (she’s bordering on nerdy!) or your son’s quiet disposition and curious spirit. On the other, you worry that being too “different”-too shy, too short, too tomboyish (or, in the case of boys, too sensitive), too anything-is a sure path to unpopularity and isolation. What’s a conflicted parent to do? Urge your child to succeed within socially prescribed boundaries? Or let him or her break the (unspoken) rules and risk being labeled “weird”?
First, stop fretting. Your hand-wringing desire for your child to “fit in” is surely borne of love, but it’s also misguided for an age in which diversity is celebrated. Even if your child does face a few bumps in the road, learning to be herself (or himself) will pay off in the long run.
Kids who are confident in themselves, their background, and their unique way of thinking, looking, or acting are more likely to succeed, not in spite of their differences, but because of them. The benefits of being a bold individual just keep on unfolding as your kids reach adulthood-especially these days.
We are living in an era that celebrates uniqueness-not for its own sake but for the tangible benefits it yields throughout life. There has never been a better time to be yourself. Embracing and nurturing your inner “fearless fish” brings far richer rewards than conformity ever could.
Your unusual personality, outlook, appearance, or background-really, any attribute that sets you apart-is not a liability but an asset. Being different gets you noticed, whether it’s in the office, at school, or at home with your own family, and that is the first step to gaining influence with those around you.
When you refuse to hide or downplay your uniqueness, it makes you more authentic-and people gravitate toward those they like, trust, and believe in. Take Barack Obama, for example. His entire campaign celebrated his differences and used change as a cornerstone for his message. Today, he’s the President of the United States because voters saw that he was authentic and true to himself, and they were drawn to him.
Today’s kids are growing up in a time of exhilarating change, an era in which they face more opportunities (and yes, more challenges) than any group before them. Read on to learn how to help them navigate the road before them by being a fearless fish out of water (just like you!):
Be a truly fearless leader. One of the most effective ways of teaching our kids is to lead by example. Our children look up to us and mimic the behaviors they see in their parents each day. If they see a person who is comfortable in her own skin, who dares to go against the flow, and most importantly, who is happy, they will learn to do the same for themselves. If this doesn’t describe you, well, it’s time to take a look in the mirror.
Your children are watching you, and usually when you least expect it. If you are an authentic person and you live your own life as a fearless fish, your kids will see that and it will serve as a powerful lesson for the people they will become. Make sure to be who you are wherever you go-at work, at home, at your children’s school-and when they see the confidence you exhume and the respect you command, they will follow your lead.
Help your kids to fit in the right way. It’s only natural for kids (of any age) to want to be like their peers-and that’s okay. The compromise to this scenario is to encourage your kids to associate with kids who are more like them. That way, they can feel accepted and part of a group while being themselves. Encourage your kids to join clubs or local groups that cater to their personalities and interests.
If your son is a music whiz, sign him up for a local music class so he can make friends with other kids who share his talent and passion. Or encourage your daughter to join the science club or debate team at school, depending on her interests. Find a place where your kids can still fit in and feel like part of the group, while at the same time fostering their individuality and unique talents.
Foster and encourage your child’s unique gifts. Nobody knows your child as well as you do, which puts you in the perfect position to identify those qualities that will make him stand out from the crowd and pave the way to a successful future. Take a cue from Tiger Woods’ father. When he noticed that his child was a budding golf prodigy, he saw the opportunity and ignored the odds stacked against a young, bi-racial golfer in a sport dominated by older white men. We all know how his story ended.
Every parent has a child who is an individual, who is unlike anybody else on this planet. You have known this person from his first minute in the world, and you know what makes him special. At a young age, children aren’t in a position to leverage themselves in the real world like adults can-and this is where you are their biggest asset. If you know why your kid is unique, don’t just gush about it around the water cooler-get your child involved in ways that will benefit him now and well into the future.
Teach him to use his differences to make a difference. Kids who learn to give back at an early age are that much more likely to do so well into their adult lives. Getting involved is a great life lesson, and a great way for you to spend time together as a family. Let your child pick a cause that he cares about, and then help him to use his differences to make a difference in the lives of others.
If your child is a star athlete, teach him to use his sports star status to raise money for a charity. You can ask the team’s sponsor to help, or have fans donate $1 per goal to be donated to a good cause. Or does your daughter have a way with animals that reminds you of the dog whisperer? Sign up to be volunteers at the local animal shelter. Working together on a common cause can have only positive results. You get to spend time as a family and you get to help out the community-all while teaching your future fearless fish an important life skill!
Let her change her mind. Nobody wants to raise a quitter, and sometimes that can mean we force our kids to stick with activities and hobbies that may not be right for who they are growing up to be. If Sally LOVED horseback riding last month, but this week she will absolutely die if she doesn’t get to join the local 4-H, it can be enough to make your head spin, and your wallet shrink. While it’s not okay to let kids have free reign over your schedule (or your budget!), it’s important to pay attention to their changing interests and to encourage them to pursue different things until they find what suits them.
While the outlet for your child’s passion may change, the root of who she is stays the same. Clearly, Sally has a passion for nature, and through different experiences she will learn to use that passion to stay relevant and current. As a fearless fish, you have to keep reinventing yourself, changing with the times and with the places you work and live, while holding on to the essential you. If your kids want to pursue something, let them try for a year. Once the season is over, if they want to move on, it’s okay to let them. Forcing kids to stay involved in something they don’t care about will only smother the fire in them that you’re trying to stoke.
Know when to let go. It’s inevitable: You can’t protect your kids from everything, and sooner or later (and it’s probably sooner!) they are going to be faced with a challenge that will rock their world. Maybe a bully at school has made Susie her new target, or Timmy didn’t make the basketball team and all his friends did. For kids, upsets like these are devastating. But they are also perfect opportunities for them to learn how to overcome obstacles by practicing the ABCs for fish out of water-action, belief, and courage.
Don’t try to swoop in and make it all better. That may be the worst thing you can do. Instead, help your child equip himself with the means to solve his own problems. If Timmy didn’t make the team, but you know he’s a talented artist, encourage him to get more involved in the school’s art program or sign him up for advanced art classes at the local community college. Or help Susie boost her self-esteem and confidence by enrolling her in a karate class or debate team; her bully will move on when she learns that her victim can stand up for herself.
There’s a great bonus that comes with striving to raise fearless kids: In the process, you perfect and refine your own journey toward fearlessness.
Parenting is as much about your growth and evolution as it is your child’s. As we teach, we learn. And there’s no richer or more rewarding path than learning how to cast aside our fear and be true to ourselves. Living an authentic life successfully is fulfilling beyond words-and an opportunity that no child should go without.
# # #
About the Author:
Robin Fisher Roffer (Los Angeles and New York) is CEO of Big Fish Marketing, one of the entertainment industry’s preeminent brand marketing and digital advertising agencies. She has provided the rocket fuel that has ignited the launch pad of dozens of brands all over the world, developing brand-building marketing plans and promotional campaigns for top media companies like Sony, Time-Warner, and Twentieth Century Fox.
Roffer has written strategic plans and executed marketing tactics for a prestigious client list that includes ABC, A&E, AMC, Bloomberg, Bravo, CNN, Comedy Central, Discovery Channel, Disney Channel, History, Lifetime, MTV, Oxygen, and Turner Networks. Today, her client roster includes over 25 television networks, a global cosmetics company, and several insurance and investment firms.
A dynamic and engaging speaker, Roffer has given keynote presentations to some of the nation’s biggest companies and organizations, including AOL, Mattel, Verizon, Wharton School of Business, and many more. In addition to her work with Big Fish Marketing, she serves as a strategic branding consultant for a variety of corporations.
Drawing on her experience in creating some of the world’s leading entertainment
brands, Roffer penned her first book, MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF: Eight
Steps Every Woman Needs to Create a Personal Brand Strategy for Success.
Her latest book, THE FEARLESS FISH OUT OF WATER: How to Succeed
When You’re the Only One Like You, hit stores in February 2009. It shows professionals how to stay connected and relevant at work while maintaining a unique identity, how to fit in without blending in, and how to transform exclusion into high impact.
Roffer’s core belief is that entertainment should be leveraged for a greater good. She has received accolades for developing community outreach programs like Lifetime’s “Women Rock,” a concert event designed to raise awareness for ****** cancer issues; CNN’s “Your Choice Your Voice” high school-based election promotion; FSN’s “Reading All-Stars” literacy campaign; The History Channel’s “Save Our History” initiative, which raised money and awareness for the World War II Memorial; and Comedy Central’s “Comedy RX,” a hospital-based program promoting the healing powers of laughter.
About the Book:
The Fearless Fish Out of Water: How to Succeed When You’re the Only One Like You (Wiley, 2009, ISBN: 978-0-4703166-8-9, $24.95) is available at bookstores nationwide, major online booksellers, or direct from the publisher by calling 800-225-5945. In Canada, call 800-567-4797.
For more information, please visit www.robinfisherroffer.com and www.fearlessfishoutofwater.com.
How to Earn $3000 or more as Home-Based Child Care Provider
July 16, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
Titi Oyenuga asked:
The demand for Child Care Providers is on the increase. This is expected to continue. There is no better time than now for anyone with a desire to make money in this industry. There are several reasons the experts believe are responsible for this increase. To mention a few; the parents of these children had been forced to work outside the home as a result of the current economy. Most families are tending towards two income earners and as a result, they need a Child Care Provider to care for their kids. Unfortunately, the high increase in divorce rate is creating a situation whereby single parents (single mom / single dad) need a Child Care Provider while they are out at work. Some stay at home moms want their kids to attend day care for the purpose of playing, learning and socializing with other kids. They want their kids to start creating and nurturing relationships with other kids. There are many more reasons why parents need Child Care Providers like you to care for their children.
Huge Amount of Money To Be Made
There is huge amount of money in this industry to be made by children lovers. It is not uncommon that home Child Care Provider to make $40,000 or more a year from the comfort of their home. In addition to monetary gain, home Child Care Providers enjoy the rare privilege of spending more time with their kids. They watch their own children grow. They enjoy being a part of every stage of their children’s life. Everyday would be like friends coming over to play with their own kids. Yet, they make money off this everyday ‘friends come over visit’. For those without any kids of their own, what a wonderful way to have children around you to play with, care for and acquire wonderful experiences with raising great kids.
Simple Idea on How To Earn $4000 to $5600 Per Month From Your Home
To earn $3000 or more per month could be simple. Where I live in North America, the government allows a maximum of 8 children at a home day care without the need for government licenses or regulations. Check your government regulations for what applies in your locality. Day care monthly prices in my region could be as high as $500 or more per month per child depending on the age of the child. In bigger cities, I understand prices could sometimes average about $700 or more. In small/medium cities, you can easily average $4000/month (8 kids at $500 each). In bigger cities, you will expect about $5600 per month (8 kids at $700 each). If you desire to earn more money, check your government regulations on how to obtain a permit to increase the number of children in your home day care.
What Is Holding You Back?
Most moms really desire to earn good income from home. Some do wish to quit their jobs and create this kind of income as a child care provider. Some wish to start home day care just for the benefit of enjoying the opportunity of spending more time with their own children. They love to stay at home and raise great kids while earning a nice income. What is holding them back from starting are a couple of reasons. The main reason being the lack of knowledge on how to go about setting up and running their home-based day care with ease and fun.
First and Important Step To Start Earning
The information that will get you started will include how to organize your home to accommodate the children’s needs. You will need to know how to plan for the age group of children that you have passion for and would love to really care for. You will need to have fun and educational activities planned for the kids depending on how you choose to run the home care. You will need to know simple, friendly and very affordable ways to attract parents to you as their Child Care Provider. The good news is that you do not necessarily need to re-invent the wheel. Most of the information you need to setup and run a successful home based child care service are readily available.
Wishing you success, happiness, and good health! (c) 2006 Titi Oyenuga and Soji Oyenuga, Authors
The demand for Child Care Providers is on the increase. This is expected to continue. There is no better time than now for anyone with a desire to make money in this industry. There are several reasons the experts believe are responsible for this increase. To mention a few; the parents of these children had been forced to work outside the home as a result of the current economy. Most families are tending towards two income earners and as a result, they need a Child Care Provider to care for their kids. Unfortunately, the high increase in divorce rate is creating a situation whereby single parents (single mom / single dad) need a Child Care Provider while they are out at work. Some stay at home moms want their kids to attend day care for the purpose of playing, learning and socializing with other kids. They want their kids to start creating and nurturing relationships with other kids. There are many more reasons why parents need Child Care Providers like you to care for their children.
Huge Amount of Money To Be Made
There is huge amount of money in this industry to be made by children lovers. It is not uncommon that home Child Care Provider to make $40,000 or more a year from the comfort of their home. In addition to monetary gain, home Child Care Providers enjoy the rare privilege of spending more time with their kids. They watch their own children grow. They enjoy being a part of every stage of their children’s life. Everyday would be like friends coming over to play with their own kids. Yet, they make money off this everyday ‘friends come over visit’. For those without any kids of their own, what a wonderful way to have children around you to play with, care for and acquire wonderful experiences with raising great kids.
Simple Idea on How To Earn $4000 to $5600 Per Month From Your Home
To earn $3000 or more per month could be simple. Where I live in North America, the government allows a maximum of 8 children at a home day care without the need for government licenses or regulations. Check your government regulations for what applies in your locality. Day care monthly prices in my region could be as high as $500 or more per month per child depending on the age of the child. In bigger cities, I understand prices could sometimes average about $700 or more. In small/medium cities, you can easily average $4000/month (8 kids at $500 each). In bigger cities, you will expect about $5600 per month (8 kids at $700 each). If you desire to earn more money, check your government regulations on how to obtain a permit to increase the number of children in your home day care.
What Is Holding You Back?
Most moms really desire to earn good income from home. Some do wish to quit their jobs and create this kind of income as a child care provider. Some wish to start home day care just for the benefit of enjoying the opportunity of spending more time with their own children. They love to stay at home and raise great kids while earning a nice income. What is holding them back from starting are a couple of reasons. The main reason being the lack of knowledge on how to go about setting up and running their home-based day care with ease and fun.
First and Important Step To Start Earning
The information that will get you started will include how to organize your home to accommodate the children’s needs. You will need to know how to plan for the age group of children that you have passion for and would love to really care for. You will need to have fun and educational activities planned for the kids depending on how you choose to run the home care. You will need to know simple, friendly and very affordable ways to attract parents to you as their Child Care Provider. The good news is that you do not necessarily need to re-invent the wheel. Most of the information you need to setup and run a successful home based child care service are readily available.
Wishing you success, happiness, and good health! (c) 2006 Titi Oyenuga and Soji Oyenuga, Authors
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